Can you coach when you're not in a coaching session?

Many managers I train in coaching skills find the idea of finding someone to practise on on a little daunting. Understandably it would feel a bit odd if you were talking to someone and they suddenly ask the question "Could I coach you on this?"

I think it helps if you start with the idea that you can coach very effectively without doing a coaching session per se - just by having a coaching conversation you can help someone to do even better thinking, which is what coaching aims to achieve.

So what's meant by a coaching conversation?

Coaching is really a conversation or a series of conversations that one has with another. Coaching conversations are about style and not about context or length; they can take place anywhere, not just in formal coaching sessions.

Consider how often people ask you questions and want you to give them solutions or advice. For example “How do I do this?” or “This has happened; what shall we do?” When this happens, do you find yourself immediately giving your thoughts and ideas in order to be helpful? Or worse, do you find yourself the one left with the problem that they should have managed? If this happens, you've probably missed an opportunity to coach.

Alternatively let's say you meet someone at the water cooler and they tell you about a situation they’re facing, when you ask a thought-provoking question such as “What do you think the real issue is here?” or “What options do you have?” you are coaching. When you’re telling them what you think or what you’d do in their shoes, you’re not coaching.

Some clues as to whether a conversation is a coaching conversation are:

• Is the focus of the conversation mostly and intentionally on one individual or team?
• Is the intention of the coach genuinely positive towards the person or people being coached?
• Are they being encouraged and enabled to think for themselves?
• Are the skills of listening, questioning, and reflection being used?
• Is their awareness and sense of responsibility being raised?
• Does the individual think about the conversation afterwards and benefit from that reflection?
• Is there a commitment from the person to doing something more effectively or behaving in a beneficial way after the conversation?

When these are happening, it’s likely that coaching is happening. So if you hold these in mind and use the ideas when you're out and about having conversations, you'll be getting lots of practice in using coaching skills.